What a Self-Solemnizing Ceremony Actually Looks Like

Posted On | April 20, 2026

In this episode, we’re answering one of the most common questions we hear from couples planning to elope in Colorado: what does a self-solemnizing ceremony actually look like when it’s just the two of you? No officiant, no script, no one telling you where to stand. Just you, your person, and whatever feels true.

What Is Self-Solemnizing?

Self-solemnizing means you don’t need an officiant to get legally married. In Colorado, you sign your own marriage license, you’re your own witnesses, and that’s it. You’re married. Not every state allows this, but Colorado does, and it’s a big part of why so many couples choose to elope here. If you want a ceremony that is truly just the two of you, this is how you do it legally.

The Four Bones of Any Ceremony

Whether you’re getting married in front of 200 people or just your dog on top of a mountain, the structure is basically the same. We call them the four bones, and knowing what they are means you can actually be present inside the moment instead of managing logistics in your head.

The Introduction

This is just your way of saying “this is real, this is happening, we’re starting.” It can be ten words or a full paragraph. You could say something like “we’re here because we chose each other and we wanted the mountains to witness it.” Or you could just look at each other and say “okay, we’re doing this.” Both are perfect.

The Vows

This is the heart of it. The part you’ll remember, and the part that actually matters. There’s no rulebook here. You can write three sentences or three pages. You can read from your phone with shaky hands. You can cry, laugh, or both. The only requirement is that you mean it. If you’re feeling stuck on how to actually write them, we have a free vow writing workbook that walks you through the whole thing and helps you find words that sound like you.

The Ring Exchange

Simple, physical, and worth slowing down for. You’re handing each other something you’re going to wear every single day for the rest of your lives. Even if it’s just the two of you on a windy ridge somewhere, take a breath. Say the thing. Put the ring on. Let it land.

The Pronouncement and First Kiss

This is where you seal it. And here’s the fun part about self-solemnizing: you get to say it yourselves. “We’re married.” Three words. Or skip the words and just kiss. Or say “hell yeah” and high five. We’ve seen all of it, and every single version was exactly right.

Making It Feel Like a Ceremony

Knowing the structure is one thing. Making it actually feel like a ceremony is another. And the honest answer is presence. Put your phone down for that part. Pause before you start talking. Take a breath. Let the moment be a moment.

Optional additions like unity rituals, a reading, or a letter you wrote the night before are all welcome if they mean something to you. But none of it is required. The four parts give you a container. You fill it with whatever is actually real.

Where to Go From Here

A ceremony doesn’t need an audience to matter. It doesn’t need an officiant or a venue or a timeline. It needs two people, a few honest words, and the willingness to show up for each other in that moment.

If you’re in early planning mode, our Elopement Planning Guide is a solid place to start. If you don’t know where to start with writing your vows, here’s our Crafting Your Elopement Vows Workbook to get you unstuck. Ready to talk about your actual day? Check out our range of elopement package options.