The Wedding Industry Sucks – But There’s Another Option
Posted On | February 24, 2020
We’re going to come out and say it. The wedding industry sucks.
Yep, you read that right! We don’t mean that we don’t love weddings or marriage or flowers or celebrations or vendors who do an incredible job serving their couples – because we do!
What we don’t love are the wedding magazines and Instagram posts and Hollywood movies that have created a sense that there is only one “right” way to get married. We don’t love the pressure that is put on couples to plan the “best day ever,” even if their idea of the best day looks nothing like what we’ve been sold. The stress that goes into making decisions that no one is really going to notice or remember (roses or peonies, dusty blue or stormy blue, Chantilly or Vanilla?) Not a fan.
It breaks our hearts that so many couples feel pressured to go into debt to pay for one day. (Did you know the average couple spent $33,900 on their wedding in 2019?!) Seeing how many couples don’t actually get to enjoy their wedding day, let alone see each other for more than a few minutes at a time makes us absolutely heartsick. Between dealing with family drama, worrying that the day they spent months planning goes perfectly and being sure they greet everyone from Great Aunt Sue who they haven’t seen since they were five to their mother’s best friend’s cousin, it’s enough to stress anyone out!
Unfortunately, we’ve seen too many couples fall into the trap of lies that the wedding industry has told us a wedding should look like.
Enough is enough.
We’ve made a commitment as photographers to help our couples focus on authenticity and the significance of what the beginning of a marriage means over creating a “picture perfect day.” We strongly believe that weddings aren’t about the ceremony or the party or the food. They’re about celebrating the commitment that you’re making to your favorite person in the world, and then every single day after.
Does the thought of having a big wedding cause your palms to start to sweat and your heart to pound?
You have another option.
We are giving you permission to want your wedding day to be one of the best days of your life, and also recognize that as long as you end up married at the end of the day, you were successful. You have permission to say no to a big, fancy reception, and instead choose to celebrate your marriage with only the people who truly mean something to you both. You have permission to be surrounded by fifty people, or ten people, or absolutely no one as you share your vows, so long as you feel like you can be your authentic self at that moment. You can say no to any tradition that doesn’t fit your relationship or your values, and invent new ones that reflect who you are and what you believe as a couple. You can get married in a chapel or on a mountaintop or at your favorite bar – it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s an accurate reflection of your priorities and your relationship.
You don’t owe anyone anything, especially on your wedding day. Yes, we’re sure your friends and your family are important, but this is one of the very rare days in your life that should be entirely about YOU. We are giving you permission to plan the wedding of your dreams, whether it’s just the two of you and an incredible view, or surrounded by the thirty people in your life who support you both whole-heartedly.
Saying “no” to a traditional wedding removes the stress and the pressure for things to have to go perfectly.
It allows you time to actually hang out with your spouse on your wedding day and spend time with the people who matter most instead of rushing from one thing to the next. It provides more flexibility for you to create an entire day, or even weekend of celebration, full of hiking, camping, kayaking, exploring new places, bar hopping, sitting around a campfire, or any other thing that allows you to revel in that newlywed high with the people who matter most. You get to spend your money on things that actually matter – memories and experiences and adventure – instead of stressing over flowers that will die or cake that will be eaten or tablecloths that will be stained. Every single moment gets to be an intentional reflection of your values and priorities.
You deserve to get married in a way that reflects who you are and what you believe.
And we will be there to support you, cheer you on, and capture your wedding in the most authentic way possible, so when you’re sitting on your couch 50 years from now flipping through your photos, you can honestly say, “that was the best day of my life.”
Are you ready to plan your most authentic day? Let’s make some magic happen!
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17 responses to “The Wedding Industry Sucks – But There’s Another Option”
I agree 100% I think this is the new way to go for sure!!
We definitely need to be true to who we are and create something that is authentic— 100% agree!
So much good info here!! I absolutely love this and your view of the wedding industry!
You are totally right! There is no right or wrong way to do it!
Yes yes yes to all of this!
Yessss I love this, and thank you SO much for saying this! I definitely agree with you and appreciate the fact that you’re shedding light on this. xox
YESSSSS- it DOES suck. Thanks for being open and honest! I wish more couples would go the elopement route, but it seems like that will happen!
LOL I love the title of this blog post. I love this article and everything in it. So empowering for couples who big weddings don’t feel like a good fit for.
Oh I feel this so much. I was just saying the other day how movies give us such an unrealistic view of what weddings “should” be like. I love how you put all of this out there & were honest about it!
YESSSS!!! This needed to be said! THANK YOU!
All of this is so true! Beautiful elopement photography, too…
Abso-freakin-lutely! haha… I love how honest you are in this article! It’s so so sad when couples spend all this time planning a huge wedding because that what they think they should do and then never get to enjoy the day!
It’s not just what you are saying that is so powerful, it’s how you say it that’s just as empowering. Your voice is so clear, and it feels like you are speaking to me directly, as if we’ve met years before. People need to hear that they have permission to do it their way and create their own traditions if others don’t serve them. You nailed this!
I hope more couples start changing it up! It can get a bit repetitive seeing the same things over and over again. Couples are unique and their day should be too!
This is so honest and refreshing to hear. I hope more couples choose a route that is more authentic to themselves without all the pressure from the wedding industry/society/friends or family.
Such a great article – super helpful for couples to understand their options!
My thoughts exactly! Thank you for writing my thoughts and feelings. I have waited on marriage a lifetime. I am now 64 yrs. old and 4 yrs ago i had a dream where God told me to prepare for marriage. God is doing a work in my spirit and have given me so much creativity. I have designed and made all of. my wedding and reception things. The most important thing to me is not to be in financial bondage. So i can now concentrate on the catering, photography, videorgrapy and vendors in i choose to use them. Thanks for making me feel more comfortable in my decisions.